


can i be anything else?

by spaceMaverick



Series: Killjoys 'Verse [8]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: ADHD, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Light Angst, Neurodiversity, No Incest, Nonbinary Kobra Kid (Danger Days), Nonbinary Party Poison (Danger Days), Platonic Cuddling, Schizophrenia, Sibling Love, The Fabulous Killjoys (Danger Days) Are Not MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceMaverick/pseuds/spaceMaverick
Summary: “Y’know I thought I was a girl for like, three years?”
Relationships: Kobra Kid & Party Poison (Danger Days)
Series: Killjoys 'Verse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725742
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	can i be anything else?

**Author's Note:**

> title is from [MiRRORGiRL by black dresses!!](https://blackdresses.bandcamp.com/track/mirrorgirl) pls check em out
> 
> possible warning for repetition? kobra kid is schizophrenic and repeats words/phrases a lot and it can be a little hard to read if stuff like that trips you up. lmk if theres a better way to write out this warning lol
> 
> yet again i talk SO MUCH in the end notes. so enjoy that ig

The roads in the Zones were always empty in the dead of night. There weren’t that many vehicles to begin with, and most of the night activity happened in the scattered bars and dance clubs. It was near freezing every night anyway, so anyone with half a mind stayed inside where they could at least _try_ to stay warm.

So the roads stayed empty. You could stand in one all night, looking up at the stars or listening to the wind in the trees. Or you could sit next to your brother in silence, which was what Kobra was doing. The sand on the cracked pavement was gritty against his palms, and the occasional breeze swept his hair further into his face. Party shook their head every so often to fix their bangs, but Kobra let his hair gradually obscure more and more of his vision.

It could have been peaceful. It usually was, spending the night alone with Party, just barely out of sight from the Diner and their crewmates inside. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they laughed, or danced like idiots. Sometimes, when their memories got to be too much, they cried. It was something entirely their own, something they needed to get through their lives. Of all the things they abandoned when they left the City, they refused to let their closeness be one of them.

But tonight was different. The silence felt more _oppressive._ Party was one of the only people Kobra could read, and they were radiating nervousness. They were leaning back, staring up at the sky, legs splayed out in front of them. It would have looked casual, if not for the deep furrow of their brow.

“Are you okay?” Kobra breathed.

“Y’know I thought I was a girl for like, three years?”

Kobra didn’t respond- which he _knew_ was a bad idea, if the quick rise and fall of his brother’s chest was anything to go on, but he had no idea what to say. He _didn’t_ know, but now that they said it, it felt a little obvious. Kobra was eleven when he found Party stealing their mother’s makeup. They’d rushed to put it back, tears in their eyes as they begged him not to tell anyone. And of course he hadn’t. He’d honestly forgotten about it for the most part; it seemed to really truly upset Party, so it was never brought up again. Had Party just kept it a secret the whole time? Even from Kobra? It didn’t… _bother_ him, per se, but it made him worry. Party didn’t do well when they were bottling things up.

Party’s voice jerked him out of his thoughts. They seemed to ignore Kobra’s silence, for better or for worse. “And like, it turned out I wasn’t, but identifying one way for that long didn’t just disappear after I figured out I was wrong.” They sat up, bringing their knees closer to their chest. “But it feels _weird_ to be so attached to a label that doesn’t fit.” They tugged on their hair gently. “I’m not a girl. I’m nonbinary.”

“I am, too,” Kobra managed to reply, “I am, too. I get it; I’m still really masculine ‘cause it’s comfortable.” He knew it was different, that he didn’t have the same discomfort with his body that Party did, but it was the best he could do to empathize.

Party had fully curled over their knees and was staring forward at nothing, worrying their lip and fiddling with the bandana on their leg. Kobra scooted closer to lean on them gently.

“Listen, dude- can I call you dude?” At Party’s mumbled yeah, he continued. “You can tell us if you wanna change labels or somethin’, you can tell us. No one’s gonna give you shit, you know that. You know that.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothin’, dude! Nothin’! Like, fuck-” Kobra leaned heavier now, actually putting his weight on Party. “-fuck, remember that person who made up a set of pronouns on the spot when Ghoul said he’d use any?”

Party laughed softly. “They both kept changing the grammar rules.”

“Exactly! No one cares or minds or whatever. And if they do, we’ll get their ass.”

“Thanks,” Party chuckled.

“We’ll get their ass.”

“I _know,_ you broken record,” Party said, shoving Kobra playfully.

Kobra barked a laugh at the old nickname. “We’ll _get_ their ass!”

“Now you’re doing it on purpose.”

“Sure am.” Kobra slid down and pulled himself to rest halfway in Party’s lap. “Get their ass, get their ass, get their ass, get their ass- okay, I might be stuck again.”

While Kobra struggled to stop repeating his own dumbass sentence, Party fell backwards in laughter. They landed a hand in his hair, shoving it into his face worse than the wind had earlier. Kobra rolled over to trap their arm against their stomach, much to their dismay. The laughter died down to a comfortable silence, and Kobra glanced up at Party’s face. They were looking off to the side, towards the blurry light of the Diner. He didn’t want to risk ruining the moment, but he did have a question.

“So, do you want us to call you something else? Something else?”

He wouldn’t have heard the sharp exhale Party tried to hide if he wasn’t lying on their stomach. “No, I don’t think so. But… if you wanted to, like… use more girly words, you could?”

“Can I call you mom?” He was mostly joking, but it _would_ be fun.

“Hell yeah, actually.” Party pushed themself up, making Kobra roll over onto the pavement. “I could be the vodka aunt of the crew.”

Kobra folded his arms under his head. “I think Ghoul is the vodka aunt already.”

“He can’t just fill _every_ adult role!” Party scoffed, throwing their arms up.

“The sooner you accept that Ghoul’s somehow, somehow- somehow the most mature of us, the better,” Kobra said. “For your own damn health.” The youngest member of their crew could be a dumbass, and a _pain_ in the ass, but he managed to wrangle the three of them- and The Girl- when the time came. “Y’know, y’know, Girlie likes calling Ghoul her sister. Y’think she’d call you mom?”

“She’s never called me dad, but yeah, maybe.” Party had gone back to bracing themselves on their hands, looking at the sky. “Honestly, I don’t want to make a big deal of it.” They looked down at Kobra, still laying down. “I just wanted to talk to you about it.”

Kobra stamped down the burst of affection at Party’s words. It was ridiculous how much he loved his brother, and being trusted with something so personal made him want to cry. He sat up and threw his arms around Party, nuzzling against their shoulder. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much, I love you-” He hugged them tighter, making himself shut up with a muffled laugh as Party wrapped their arms around him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> my HCs for the brothers are that party is simply "Nonbinary™," while kobra IDs as enby and agender. in this fic party is questioning if transfem is a label that fits but in the end its just "whatever im still enby either way"
> 
> im gonna be real w u the whole concept of this fic is based on [this interview](https://archive.today/20150119081928/http://theboyzine.com/2015/01/i-considered-myself-to-be-more-of-a-girl-a-conversation-with-gerard-way/) with gerard.  
> i feel just a little weird taking what he said abt his history w gender and writing about it as a fact of party's life. it feels like im treating gerard as a character by taking bits n pieces of what we know about him, just to flesh out party poison??  
> but like. this is the literal quote:  
>  _"I never really subscribed to the archetype masculinity growing up, I had no interest in sports or anything like that. There was a time where I was called a girl so often that when I discovered the idea of transgenderism I considered myself to be more of a girl. So I identify with trans people and women a lot because I was a girl to a lot of people growing up."_  
>  and if that isnt the most trans fucking thing youve ever heard. then i dunno man.
> 
> in the end i love this fic. i wouldnt be posting it if i didnt like it lol. i just wanted to talk about that interview and explain my feelings abt using The Band as inspo for the killjoys


End file.
